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Archive from : 09/22/07 |
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| Sandwiches are life, the rest is just details | ||||||||||||||||
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| Magic Sandwich: Describe an ordinary day if you were living in the rainforest. |  Fantastic photos by the fantastic Jay Spooner | |||||||||||||||
| Matt K. Shrugg: I'd probably be sobbing uncontrollably, pleading to the animals or anyone that would listen to get me the fuck outta the rainforest. | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: What famous painter, living or dead, would you like to pose for? | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: I'd have to go with one of them artists in the ol' Looney Toons shorts, where he's painting your portrait and has his thumb out, like really paying attention and taking a long time. Then he turns around and it's a painting of his thumb. Ha! Who ever came up with that joke is a fuckin' genius. | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: What would be a good topic/theme for a magazine that hasn’t been done yet? ( ex: crafts, fashion, food) | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: Political answer: A news magazine that doesn't report bullshit or death?
Fun answer: Official 2008 Cow Chip Price Guide | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: What’s your favorite aisle/section of a grocery store? | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: The one that doesn't get picked up by the security cameras. Ya see, I'm a firm believer of the "5 Finger Discount". I usually wear a big Trenchcoat Mafia-esque trenchcoat and help myself to the store. You can fill the pockets with approximately 5 packs of Kraft Cheese Singles, 25 per pack. Sodas are easy, you just make your shins look bigger. Cash registers are tough though, I don't steal those. | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: What’s the funniest/most bizarre thing that you’ve seen someone do, without them knowing you saw it? | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: I saw a woman burp, fart, sneeze and pick her nose at the sametime while driving. I was laughing hella hard (then I picked my nose too). | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: Who would be a great pair-up for Celebrity Death Match? Who would win? | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: Political answer: I'm not a celebrity, but put me in a ring with Bush or any corrupt politician and I'll kill' em for sure. Everybody wins.
Fun answer: Gary Coleman and Webster. You'd think Gary Coleman would win, but I've seen one of them "Where Are They Now" pictures of Webster and he was wearin' a karate suit, so he could probably throw down. | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: What was the last thing you bought at a yard sale/flea market? | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: Yard sales don't have cameras, security or a bunch of nerdo employees breathin' down yer shirt. Which is why they are such a good breeding ground for the "5 Finger Discount". I've stolen gold watches, Super Nintendo game systems, numerous Billy Basses and even fuckin' skis from yard sales with the aid of ol' "Trenchy". Once I wore an oriental rug with a hole in it for my head and walked away with a trampoline. No questions asked. | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: What is one of your pet-peeves? | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: Sarcastic answer: What does peeve mean? Does that mean name or something? Hmmm, I guess one of my pet names would be "Stony Danza".
Honest answer: The term "kicking ass and taking names" | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: What would you ask a fortune teller/psychic? | ||||||||||||||||
| MS: I'd go to the fortune teller to have my fortune read, but I wouldn't know what to tell her. I'd probably have a dizzy feeling in my head. She'd take a look at my palm and tell me I felt warm or something. She'd take a gander in her crystal ball and proclaim that I was in love or something to that affect. | ||||||||||||||||
 Self portrait... | MS: I'll provide the answer, you give me the applicable question: That crazy guy down the street from me. |
| MS: "Who took a shit on your bumper?" | |
 Holy crap... |
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